Eternal sunshine of the sinless soul

How joyful is the sinless vestal's lot
The world being saved, by the world there's God
Eternal sunshine of the saved soul and mind
Each pray'r answered, and each wish resign'd.

I changed the wordings a bit from 'Eloisa to Alebard', in reflection of my last post. Sounds perfectly fine now.

I (was imagining myself) woke up one morning, not remembering anything that happened after 10/12/2006, no memories of that at all. Life seems to go on as normal though. I walked out of my room, looking around. Everything seems to be the same as before. I walked into my room, packed up my laptop and changed my clothes. I was a bit puzzled by the bible in my laptop carrier, but thought that it was just for fun, I thought I would never receive Christ and was thinking, what the hell??? It must be some self-prank after a night of drinking (is there any?)But it didn't matter, I just left the house for another supposedly normal day of school. But something was just not right. I felt so strange within me, but I just couldn't explain it.

I went down to school, and as usual, stepped into HQ, my haunting place. Took out my readings and laptop, logged into it. Then I was puzzled... why is it that my password has something to do with christianity??? It doesn't make sense. But it doesn't make me feel discomforted. I felt... normal and yet not so normal... I logged into my laptop, and found that my praise and worship songs are more than other combined. Again, it was strange... I thought I only had that 10 songs which Robert burned for me last year. Never mind, it doesn't matter, I just listened, but they sounded quite nice anyway, and I was the type who appreciate good music. The songs... sounded very nice, very touching, some very inspiring. But who cares, I just need some music to study.

Then I saw a group of people walking to HQ carrying their guitars. I could recognise some of them. Hongdao... he was my sec sch mate and we went for matric last year. Wondering... has he converted? So the people around him are all Christians? I was not going to bother... as far I was concerned, I was not interested in all these things. Apparently they saw me and said 'hi'. I smiled back and said 'hi'. That's all I can do. I still need to do my readings. Then they started playing, and I found that the verses they were discussing and the songs which they were singing made sense. It somehow made sense. I don't know why. Anyway, I couldn't find them a nuisance. Got to hear some names along the way and implicitly knew them through their own conversation: this tanned guy called Bowen who was teaching them songs, this high pitched lady called Calyn, this skinny guy called Guan Rui who keep singing 'when the music fades' and I wondered what happened after the music fades. There were other whom I 'just' knew: Swee Leong, this girl called Ziwei who seems to be very excited about the songs she's singing.

Now, finally, people whom I have known from HQ arrived. Well, they joined the singing too. And actually also jioed me along, asking me if I wanna join in. I smiled back and surprisingly, I stood up and decided to go over. Maybe I just thought it's a good getaway from reading for a while and I dun feel uncomfortable. In fact, something in me felt quite excited about it... but wait... I need to go for class. Well... maybe next time... but I would really wanna join them... dun know why.

I passed by the Arts walkway and saw the BS noticeboard about Dharma circle and meaning of life and karma and whatever is posted there. I found that these just dun make sense. I dun know why, but I carried on walking to the canteen, bewildered by my thoughts and feelings. I bought a waffle from the store besides Olive Cove and then... I closed my eyes and said grace???? What is happening here? Anyway, I'll think about it later... have to go for lesson.

I went back to HQ after lesson. They were still praising and worshipping. I went over and looked. I closed my eyes, thinking about what happened throughout the day. I asked myself why is it that I kept on doing and feeling things which I shouldn't feel, or experience. People seem to know me when I dun. I felt an unexplainable joy within my heart. I felt... there's God... I somehow knew it's God.

Now I know and now I remember. I know it's part of me. Tear flows and I know. I finally understood. For if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation, the old has gone, the new has come. I can forget mentally but my soul can't. It will always respond to the Holy Spirit. I was saved by Jesus Christ, and He had transformed me. It is a fact and my soul can't deny that. I opened my eyes, and found myself back to the present which I'm supposed to be. I had not forgotten anything yet, and everything was as per normal. The joy I experienced, it's something which forgetting can't even take away. Indeed, how joyful is the vestal's lot, by the world being saved, the world there's God.

Eternal sunshine of the saved soul and mind
Each pray'r answer'd and each wish resign'd.