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Showing posts from August, 2010
Vatican debate
Several centuries ago, the Pope decided that all the Jews had to leave the Vatican. Naturally there was a big uproar from the Jewish community. So the Pope made a deal. He would have a religious debate with a member of the Jewish community. If the Jew won, the Jews could stay. If the Pope won, the Jews would leave. The Jews realized that they had no choice. So they picked an elderly aged man named Moishe to represent them. Rabbi Moishe’s Latin wasn’t very good - in fact, he knew very little--but he was a man of great faith and well respected in the Jewish community. The pope agreed. What could be easier than a silent debate?

The day of the great debate came. Moishe and the Pope sat opposite each other for a full minute before the Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers. Moishe looked back at him and raised one finger. The Pope waved his fingers in a circle around his head. Moishe pointed to the ground where he sat. The Pope pulled out a wafer and a glass of wine. …
Prison versus Work
Just in case you ever get these two environments mixed up, this should make things a little bit clearer.

IN PRISON..........you spend the majority of your time in an 10X10 cell.
AT WORK............you spend the majority of your time in an 8X8 cubicle.

IN PRISON..........you get three meals a day.
AT WORK............you get a break for one meal and you have to pay for it.

IN PRISON..........you get time off for good behavior.
AT WORK............you get more work for good behavior.

IN PRISON..........the guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
AT WORK............you must often carry a security card and open all the doors for yourself.

IN PRISON..........you can watch TV and play games.
AT WORK............you could get fired for watching TV and playing games.

IN PRISON..........you get your own toilet.
AT WORK............you have to share the toilet with some people who pee on the seat.

IN PRISON..........they allow your family and friends to visit.
AT WORK............you are…
Job add lingo
"COMPETITIVE SALARY"
We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.

"JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY"
We have no time to train you.

"CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE"
We don’t pay enough to expect that you’ll dress up.

"MUST BE DEADLINE-ORIENTED"
You’ll be six months behind schedule on your first day.

"SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED"
Some time each night and some time each weekend.

"DUTIES WILL VARY"
Anyone in the office can boss you around.

"MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL"
We have no quality control.

"CAREER-MINDED"
Female Applicants must be childless (and remain that way).

"APPLY IN PERSON"
If you’re old, fat or ugly you’ll be told the position has been filled.

"NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE"
We’ve filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.

"SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE"
You’ll need it to replace three people who just left.

"PROBLEM-SOLVING SK…

Warning: this sounds a bit sick but I just can't help it...

Secretary: "Pastor, we’ve got a problem in the computer lab where you met with the confirmation class last week. Some of the boys in the class started messing with the mouse."

Pastor: "What?!?" (thinking: we’ve got mice in there!?)

Secretary: "Yeah, it seems some of the boys removed their balls."

Pastor (incredulously...): "Th..th...they did what??? How in the world did they do that???"

Secretary: "They must have used a screwdriver or something."

Pastor: "We’ve got some pretty sick boys... I... I... didn’t even realize mice had balls...!"

Secretary: "Yeah, they roll around on ’em all the time!"

Pastor: "What???" (still thinking of the little fury real animals) "Well...what can we do?"

Secretary: "I guess we’ll have to put ’em back on..."

Pastor: "WHAT?!?"

Secretary: "Hmmm....Pastor, are we talking about the same thing.....?!"

满有能力

我的盼望 就在耶稣基督里 在祢里面满有平安
生命泉源 就在耶稣基督里 有主在我里面活着

我宣告在我里面的 比世上一切更有能力
我不属这世界 我高举耶稣的名
我宣告在我里面有 活水涌流满有能力
有耶稣在我里面活着 我勇敢站立

有主在我里面 没有惧怕 能战胜仇敌
有主在我里面 没有惧怕 还得胜有余I have been listening to chinese pnw lately. I particularly like this song, not only due to the lyrics, but also on the instrumentals, particularly the riff by the electric guitar.

Send, sending, sent!

Tell me oh Lord, how you want me to give your life
To the world where there’s no hope
Tell me oh Lord, how you want me to give your love
To the world where love went cold
Do you see all the people sinking down
Don’t you see people aching in the darkness alone
Send me Lord, send me Lord, I am willing to give all
Send me out to those who need Your hand
Fill me Lord, fill me Lord, fill me with your love for all
Reach your hand to hold them once againGod has called us with each a unique purpose. As I walk with God closer each day, it becomes clearer. Somehow or rather, I do feel excited in my heart, though the struggle is there. Why? It seems that it's becoming clearer that MACA is the way to go, and perhaps in the long run, M.Div and T.HD. Come to think about it, it has to come with prayer. There are so many unknowns and uncertainties, and not to mention obstacles.
It is difficult in my social sphere to even explain this. I tried mentioning it to my colleagues and they can o…
A hydrogen atom lost its electron and went to the police station to file a missing electron report. He was questioned by the police: "Haven't you just misplaced it somewhere? Are you sure that your electron is really lost?"

"I'm positive." replied the atom.
"Daddy," a little girl asked her father, "do all fairy tales begin with 'Once upon a time'? "

"No, sweetheart," he answered. "Some begin with 'If I am elected.'"
Air Force One crashed in the middle of rural America. Panic stricken the Secret Service mobilized and descended on the farm in force. When they got there, the wreckage was clear. The aircraft was totally destroyed with only a burned hulk left smoldering in a tree line that bordered a farm. Secret Service descended upon the smoking hulk but could find no remains of the crew or the President's staff. To their amazement, a lone farmer was plowing a field not too far away as if nothing at all happened. They hurried over to surround the man's tractor.

"Sir," the senior Secret Service agent asked, panting and out of breath.

"Did you see this terrible accident happen?"

"Yep. Sure did." The man muttered unconcernedly.

"Do you realize that is the President of the United States airplane?"

"Yep."

"Were there any survivors?" the agent gasped.

"Nope. They's all kilt straight out." The farmer sighed cutting off his tractor m…
The following list of phrases and their definitions might help you understand the fuzzy language of science and medicine. These special phrases are also applicable to anyone reading a PhD dissertation or academic paper.

"IT HAS LONG BEEN KNOWN"...
I didn’t look up the original reference.

"A DEFINITE TREND IS EVIDENT"...
These data are practically meaningless.

"WHILE IT HAS NOT BEEN POSSIBLE TO PROVIDE DEFINITE ANSWERS TO THE QUESTIONS"... An unsuccessful experiment but I still hope to get it published.

"THREE OF THE SAMPLES WERE CHOSEN FOR DETAILED STUDY"...
The other results didn’t make any sense.

"TYPICAL RESULTS ARE SHOWN"...
This is the prettiest graph.

"THESE RESULTS WILL BE IN A SUBSEQUENT REPORT"...
I might get around to this sometime, if pushed/funded.

"IN MY EXPERIENCE"...
Once.

"IN CASE AFTER CASE"...
Twice.

"IN A SERIES OF CASES"...
Thrice.

"IT IS BELIEVED THAT"...
I think.

"IT IS GENERALLY…
"Isaac Newton was sitting under a tree when an apple fell on his head and he discovered gravity. Isn't that wonderful?"

Student: "Yes sir, if he had been sitting in class looking at books like us, he wouldn't have discovered anything."

More on my own personality

I have taken the DISC and MBTI assessments before. I'm a pure D and an ENTJ/P (tend to fluctuate). I just recently did another assessment , Firo-B, as part of my healthcare 101 course.

The Firo-B is an instrument that focuses on how we are oriented to interpersonal relations and measures interpersonal needs in three areas: Inclusion (relates to forming new relationships and associating with others and determines the extent of contact and prominence that a person seek), Control (relates to decision making, influence and persuasion between people and determines the extent of power or dominance that a person seeks) and Affection (relates to emotional ties and warm connections between people and determines the extent of closeness that a person seeks).

So what are my interpersonal needs from the test? My overall interpersonal needs will show the overall strength of my interpersonal needs and how much I believe that other people and human interaction can help me attain my goals and ac…

Seeing the way He does

Harold Kushner, a Jewish rabbi, once said somewhere along the line that religion is indispensable to the grieving process. Perhaps, to probe the issue a little bit deeper, it is the process of the grieving one seeking comfort from something or someone who is able to give him not only the philosophical answer, but also the existential answer as well. This can only be found in the spiritual realm and can only be in found in God Himself, though the search into other religions reflect that search for comfort and answers.

It is heart ranching to read about tragedies and sad stories. This morning, when I was walking to office, and as I was passing by SGH, there was a lady hugging a hospital staff crying aloud. I dun know what happened, but there is a high chance that someone passed away or something happened that caused such grief. Later after that, I managed to land my hands on a book, "Tapestry of care". It records some stories about the experience of medical social workers. Th…
Blind man visiting Texas
There once was a blind man who decided to visit Texas. When he arrived on the plane, he felt the seats and said, "Wow, these seats are big!" The person next to him answered, "Everything is big in Texas."

When he finally arrived in Texas, he decided to visit a bar. Upon arriving in the bar, he ordered a beer and got a mug placed between his hands. He exclaimed, "Wow these mugs are big!" The bartender replied, "Everything is big in Texas."

After a couple of beers, the blind man asked the bartender where the bathroom was located. The bartender replied, "Second door to the right." The blind man headed for the bathroom, but accidentally tripped over and skipped the second door. Instead, he entered the third door, which lead to the swimming pool and fell into the pool by accident.

Scared to death, the blind man started shouting, "Don't flush, don't flush!"
Rules for Cats Who Have to Run a House
Compiled by Harold Reynolds and updated on December 6, 1994

1. Introduction

The following is a manual of guidelines for the busy cat(s) who will have a house to manage after adopting one or more humans. It is, of course, impossible to cover all possible situations, as those humans are always up to some sort of mischief, but the compiler and contributors to this guide have endeavoured to cover as wide a variety of topics as possible. It is important that this document be kept out of the hands of humans, who will undoubtedly find a way to use it to their advantage.

2. Food

In order to get the energy to sleep, play, and hamper, a cat must eat. Eating, however, is only half the fun. The other half is getting the food. Cats have two ways to obtain food: convincing a human you are starving to death and must be fed now; and hunting for it oneself. The following are some guidelines for getting fed.

a) When the humans are eating, make sure you leave the tip of …

Letters to God - It's the transformation that matters

I finally managed to watch Letters to God. Before I talk about some of the points which I have reflected from the movie, I just want to comment that it has been a difficult two days trying to watch the movie. I booked the tickets for Tuesday, 7pm, only find myself stuck in office till 7.30pm because of certain idiots who have chosen to ignore certain laws from certain acts in the Singaporean legislation.

But overall, the movie is worth the trouble and the wait.

My first thought from the movie is that it's a very real movie. The story depicts imperfect people in normal everyday life trying their best to figure out how best to get themselves out of trouble and of course, God got 'implicated' right from the beginning. The only drama comes from the emotion, otherwise, the story is very spiritual in nature, with no supernatural elements involved. You can say it borders along the line of Esther in the OT, other than the fact that God is mentioned all over the place in the movi…
Mother to daughter advice:

Cook a man a fish and you feed him for a day.

But teach a man to fish and you get rid of him for the whole weekend.
Image
I cannot help but feel the same sentiment as my brother. Everytime I look at the advertisement, it's so unbelievable... what are the chance that this is really the case and these people drank new moon chicken essence during their exams? Blatant lies? Or what? How can I know that it's true?

Hmm....
Aunt Bessie loved to visit her nieces and nephews. However, she had relatives all over the country.

The problem was that no matter how much she enjoyed seeing them, she hated flying. No matter how safe people told her it was, she was always worried that someone would have a bomb on the plane.

She read books about how safe it was and listened to the stewardess demonstrate all the safety features. But she still worried herself silly every time a visit was coming up.

Finally, the family decided that maybe if she saw the statistics she'd be convinced. So they sent her to a friend of the family who was an actuary.

"Tell me," she said suspiciously, "what are the chances that someone will have a bomb on a plane?"

The actuary looked through his tables and said, "A very small chance. Maybe one in five hundred thousand."

She nodded, then thought for a moment. "So what are the odds of two people having a bomb on the same plane?"

Again he went through hi…
A man dies and goes to hell. Satan greets him, shows him three doors, and says, "You must spend the rest of eternity in one of the rooms behind these doors. Look in each one and decide which one you want."

The man opens the first door, and sees a bunch of people standing on their heads on a wooden floor, looking very uncomfortable. He opens the second door, and sees a bunch of people standing on their heads on a concrete floor, looking even more uncomfortable. Finally, he opens the third door, and sees a bunch of people standing around chatting and drinking coffee, up to their knees in shit.

"Hmmm," he says, "that looks bad, but it’s better than the other two. I’ll take the third door." Satan smiles and shows him in.

Ten minutes later Satan walks back into the room and says, "Alright, coffee break’s over, everyone back on your heads!"

One minute!

To be a survivor in this Amazing Race with the need for speed you need God’s Grace and if your desperate like housewives watching days of our lives, you can’t cope without hope and that is not on a soap. If your looking to Oprah or Dr. Phil you can shop non-stop or pop a pill, but the void won’t fill and the pain won’t kill until you love the one that hung on a hill. Kicking back in your lazy boy easy chair watching who wants to be a millionaire, nah your not gonna find it there. No American Idol or Council Tribal has the final answer that will satisfy ya. C S I ain’t got a clue. S.V.U. Don’t know what to do Not the E R or those seen on a CD TV DVD or MP3 can save you and me. CNN has got no Good News here’s a headline you must choose. It’s not a simple life paris hilton, It’s treading on thin ice living in sin. You can be an apprentice for Donald Trump or eat Fear Factor fast food from a dump you can be a heavy hitter or wheel a fortune winner or a Fox news no spin spinner or flat sin…